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Saturday, January 17, 2009

In Black and White We Lie Tonight -Freewrite-

The refined barrage of thoughts (see below for original)

Black and white
leaves the rust to be imagined
like a ghost town's peeling paint.
Sit here behind this frozen wheel,
if only these seats could
tell of love; new and old,
remade and broken forever.
Take time, hold my hand
as you brush virgin fingers
through my tangled hair,
carefully now whisper pleasure
into a stale night as this
cracked grill imprints
itself on my bent spine...
Trees will sway, leaves spiral
to the ground and around us
the vines will rise.
Water from the gray sky feeding
this marshy ground.
Bugs crawl across my leg
finding shelter from a full moon
as an owl swoops overhead
on wizened wings; I laugh
full and robust, without inhibition.
Could my life be more cliched?
Could I love you even less
as I will these headlights to light,
show me my mind and stop the screaming.
Stop this ringing in my head
as your breath cascades
over my stiff neck.
Last night I lay alone, but forgiveness
you draw from me with every kiss.
Here in black and white, we lie tonight.


Original barrage of thoughts

Black and white leaving rust
to be imagined, peeling like
a ghost towns paint,
here sit
behind this frozen wheel,
if only these seats like walls
could tell of love, new and old, remade and broken forever. Take time, hold my hand as you brush your scarred fingers through my tangled hair. Carefully now, whisper pleasure into a stale night, as this cracked grill imprints itself on my bent spine.
Trees will sway, leaves spiral to the ground, and around us the vines will rise, water from a gray sky feeding this marshy ground. Bugs crawl across my leg finding shelter from a full moon as an owl swoops overhead on wisened wings.
I laugh, full and robust without inhabition, could my life be more cliched? Could I love you even less, as I will these headlights to light, show me my mind and stop the screaming. Stop this ringing in my head as your breath cascades over my stiff neck, last night I layed alone, but forgiveness you draw from me with every kiss.
Here in black and white we lie tonight.

2 comments:

Every Photo Tells A Story said...

You have such a talent for combining innocence with the darker side of life. I like the revisions you made(and that you posted both,) though as quickly as you write, the first version is just as good. Too many wonderful lines to choose from, but the first one "Black and white leaves the rust to be imagined.." is just perfect:)

I'll steal from Mr. Darrow, "Bravo!"

Charli Henley said...

Hi Sarah... I really love the poem you made from your freewrite. I find I often get great stuff from freewriting. My favorite "like a ghost town's peeling paint" - GREAT imagery!