Blog Archive

Monday, March 9, 2009

To Please

Alone

spiraling down,

alone,

don't frown at me so!

...'I am here to please'...
say something as you take my body
I am whore, but I am woman also.

Night (today) out here again
shoes click on brittle pavement,
damn this life, as I look around in vain
for an angels sword to fall upon.

Cold-hearted I am now,
in a bus shelter reeking of vomit
and unwashed bodies,
I look with sympathy,
having been trained well.

Other mothers may kiss
their children goodnight
at least I know those two
will never want for anything -

(Don't judge me)

Hear me now God
take away my sins of today
for they are many, 'for they are many'
I whisper in a rocking sigh,
eyes look down and I am here once again,
my purpose so clearly known,
cherry red nails are on his shoulders
moving down along a bony spine
I am so removed I forget they are my own
and watch with a dejected fascination.

Nights blur like passing cars
no one staying to share a smile, a laugh,
'I fake them all you know',
take my words as you want
twist them until you feel empowered.

Preachers mumble as I pass,
my grandmother's silver cross swaying
above breasts cupped in seducing black,
there is a mystery I fear, to every breath.

Six a.m morning stumbles over
the last step of a righteously straight horizon,
I paint myself a picture
they are all there
on this apartment's bowed walls.

I have survived myself once again
robed in THE temple's purple divide.

4 comments:

red photogene said...

Monday, February 23, 2009
"my need to convey
is greater then
my shame,"
he said,
head hung.
exposed.
Apollinaire's Tattoo

this is a beautifully open, exposed, hard and tender piece.

Faith said...

So heart breaking and so well written. Yes, to red photogene's comment. I agree 100%!

Your poem reminds me of a song I used to listen to:
Freddie Aguilar - Magdalena

english translation:

When people quickly glance at you
They never see through your disguise
Magdalena, when will they see the tears in your eyes

In spite of what your world's become
You keep on fighting not to lose your pride
You churn inside but the game has to compromise

You know you live a life of shame
In Mabini where it all began
That people say they you're to blame
They just never seem to understand

You go ton playing out the game
Although it hurts you must remain
Wishing someday you'll be free from this shackling chain

You cry out in your loneliness
No one can really feel your emptiness
Magdalena, you are a victim just like all the rest

Magdalena, ikaw ay sawimpalad
Kailan ka nila maiintidihan
Magdalena, life is not the way you planned
The whole world they don't seem to understand
Magdalena, Magdalena

Nick James said...

I get the sense that someone's reality isn't processing in their minds. I liked it!

Every Photo Tells A Story said...

I'm blushing now:) Seriously, as I read this I can relate with her in that sometimes no matter how much we try to be someone other than ourselves, we can not. Her fate is a tragic one, and I can feel her desperation through your words. As we get older, we want to be wiser, and the one "wise" thing I've learned over the years is that we can not "judge" anyone until we've lived their lives.